Why Do I Feel Guilty Doing Nothing? [Raw Session]

00:00 — When Did Doing Nothing Become So Difficult?

Hey, welcome back to Slow Builds.

I wanted to record this video because something happened the other night that made me stop for a second.

I finished work, had already gone for my run, and we had supper as a family. There wasn't anything that needed my attention, so I went outside and just sat there.

I sat on the back step, just looking up.

It was quiet, and it was an extremely nice evening.

Within about five minutes, I felt guilty.

Not because I had forgotten to do something. Not because anyone expected anything from me. I just had this feeling that I should be doing something.

Maybe I should work on another YouTube video.

Maybe I should spend some time answering questions about the book and adding some more content.

Maybe I should build another feature, work on a bug from work, catch up on some new AI tools, read some news, answer messages, go through my emails, organize my notes, do my expenses, or even work on my taxes.

I actually like doing my taxes.

It was like my brain couldn't accept that simply sitting outside was enough.

That's what got me thinking.

When did that happen?

When did doing nothing start feeling irresponsible?

01:27 — Enjoying Productivity vs. Needing Productivity

I've never been someone who sits around doing nothing all day.

I've always liked building things, software, learning, reading, working out, and trying new things. That's always been part of me.

This isn't one of those videos where I'm saying hard work is bad. I don't believe that.

Most of the good things in my life came from consistently showing up and putting in the work—health, career, finances.

Hopefully this YouTube channel turns into one of those things too.

None of that happens by accident.

But I think something slowly changed.

There was a time when I was productive because I enjoyed building things.

Now I catch myself feeling like I need to be productive because otherwise I feel like I'm wasting time.

Those aren't the same thing.

02:16 — Every Empty Hour Becomes an Opportunity

I've noticed that every empty space in my day starts looking like an opportunity.

Three hours before bed.

What can I build?

Saturday morning.

How can I use it?

Vacation.

Maybe I can get ahead on something.

Even a walk becomes exercise.

Reading becomes self-improvement.

A conversation becomes a future video.

A software idea becomes another side project or another business we can try to build.

Everything starts becoming something.

I spend so much time thinking about what things could become that sometimes I forget to experience what they already are.

02:58 — AI Didn't Cause This... It Exposed It

I don't think AI caused this.

I think AI is exposing it because AI never really stops.

It's moving forward. It's changing. There's always a new model, coding tool, workflow, agent, or announcement.

I work in software, and I actually enjoy learning this stuff.

I think it's one of the biggest technology shifts we'll ever see in our lives.

So I don't want to ignore it.

But there's a strange trap hiding inside all of it.

The tools are supposed to save us time.

Yet I can spend an entire evening learning new tools that promise to save me time.

Then I start thinking about everything I could build with them.

If AI lets one person do what used to take five people, maybe I should build another product, work on another business, automate something, or explore another idea.

The possibilities never end.

That's exciting.

But it's also extremely exhausting.

A friend of mine who's also a software developer said something interesting.

"If AI is supposed to help us become more productive... why am I working more than I ever have before?"

It's true.

04:13 — Work Doesn't Really End Anymore

I think that's one of the biggest differences today.

Work doesn't end.

Years ago there were natural stopping points.

You left the office.

You came home.

The project stayed where the project lived.

Now everything is in your pocket.

Work.

AI.

YouTube.

Ideas.

Notes.

Banking.

News.

Messages.

Notifications.

Everything.

The phone doesn't know I'm trying to relax.

It just keeps offering me another thing to think about.

Even when I'm sitting on the couch, part of my brain is still working.

I don't think that's rest.

04:43 — Running Changed My Perspective

One place I've noticed this change is in running.

I used to care a lot about my pace, heart rate, calories, and distance.

Every run had to prove something.

It had to be better than the last.

Lately I've stopped caring as much.

I still run almost every day.

But I just go.

Some days are slower.

Some days feel extremely hard.

Some days I don't even look at the pace until I'm finished.

The same thing happened with swimming.

I have a pool in my backyard.

I'm not trying to break records.

I get in.

Swim until I feel done.

Enjoy being outside.

Enjoy the morning.

See the sun.

Feel the breeze.

Enjoy being by myself.

Ironically, I think I enjoy it more now.

The health benefits are still there.

They're just no longer the only reason I'm doing it.

05:37 — Not Everything Needs a Measurable Outcome

This reminds me of another video I made about utility and rituals.

We're becoming really good at removing friction.

Groceries get delivered.

AI writes drafts.

Cars drive themselves.

Everything is becoming faster.

Most of that is genuinely useful.

But I've started wondering if we're accidentally removing experiences too.

Sometimes going to the store isn't just about buying groceries.

Driving isn't just about getting somewhere.

Sitting outside isn't about reducing stress.

Sometimes it's just about enjoying nature.

Reading isn't about becoming smarter.

Sometimes it's just reading good fiction.

Sometimes you're just living.

Maybe that's enough.

Maybe everything doesn't need a measurable outcome.

06:18 — Momentum or Fear?

One thing I struggle with is momentum.

I'm afraid if I stop...

I'll stop.

The YouTube channel is still new enough that I worry about missing uploads.

Projects lose momentum if I leave them too long.

Books don't write themselves.

Software doesn't build itself.

So part of me keeps pushing.

Just one more hour.

One more evening.

One more thing.

But I've also realized something.

If a project can only survive by making me anxious...

that's probably not momentum.

That's fear.

06:50 — I Still Love Building

I don't think I'm going to stop building things.

Honestly, I hope I don't.

I love software.

I love learning.

I love reading.

I love this whole AI adventure that we're all going through together.

I love making these videos.

I still cringe when I see them.

I don't watch them myself.

But I enjoy putting them out there and seeing where this experience goes.

That's not changing.

What I'm questioning is something different.

Maybe I don't need to maximize every single day.

07:21 — Maybe the Day Is Already Full

Maybe finishing work...

Going for a run...

Having supper with my family...

Then relaxing for an hour...

is already a full day.

Maybe I don't need to earn the right to rest.

Maybe rest isn't something that happens after you've completed every possible task.

Because that day never comes.

There will always be another idea.

Another feature.

Another video.

Another opportunity.

The list never ends.

Eventually you have to decide the day is finished...

even if the list isn't.

I'm still figuring that out.

Honestly, that's why I wanted to make this video.

I have a feeling I'm probably not the only one who sits down at the end of the day and immediately starts wondering what else they should be doing.

Maybe we're not lazy.

Maybe we've just forgotten what enough feels like.

08:35 — Final Thoughts

I think this is a problem a lot of us have.

The people who want to be productive.

Who want to make a difference.

Who don't want to fall behind.

Who want to keep exploring and building.

That's how I feel about it.

But there are times when you have to learn that you can step away.

It's okay to take a break.

It's okay not to always be doing something.

Your brain needs to rest.

You need to reset.

You need time to grow, move, and breathe.

Thanks for watching.